An Aspiring Correctional Officer Becomes a Prisoner | Women In Prison: Real Talk

An Aspiring Correctional Officer Becomes a Prisoner | Women In Prison: Real Talk


WHAT THE…? ♪♪ HEY, BABY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN MY HOUSE? I’M GONNA
CALL THE POLICE. Valencia:
RIGHT THEN AT THAT MOMENT,
I KNEW I WAS IN DANGER. SOMEBODY’S GONNA DIE
TONIGHT. AH!
STOP IT, PLEASE! I KNEW I HAD TO TRY TO GET OUT. ♪♪ ♪♪ I NEVER IMAGINED THAT
I WOULD BE BEHIND BARS. I ALWAYS IMAGINED
SOMETHING ELSE FOR MYSELF. [ MELANCHOLY TUNE PLAYS ] MAN, IF I WAS OUT RIGHT NOW,
I’D PROBABLY BE RIDIN’ AROUND IN ONE OF MY NICE CARS,
CHILLIN’, PROBABLY GO
TO MY BROTHER’S HOUSE AND KICK IT WITH THEM
FOR A MINUTE, YOU KNOW? TAKE MYSELF ON A LITTLE
SHOPPIN’ SPREE, DEFINITELY. WHAT I REALLY WANTED TO DO,
MY ULTIMATE GOAL — AND THIS IS REALLY WEIRD,
AND I SIT BACK ALL THE TIME IN HERE AND REPLAY IT OVER
AND OVER IN MY HEAD — I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE
A CORRECTIONAL OFFICER. I ALWAYS WANTED TO WORK
BEHIND THE FENCE. NOW, I’M BEHIND THE FENCE.
BUT THIS IS HOW — THIS IS — I GOT THE WRONG
UNIFORM ON. [ LAUGHS ] THIS IS NOT HOW IT WAS
SUPPOSED TO TURN OUT. ♪♪ BEIN’ IN PRISON,
I WAS ANGRY AT THE WORLD. I WAS ANGRY AT EVERYBODY. I WAS ANGRY
‘CAUSE I LOST MY JOB. I WAS ANGRY ‘CAUSE
I COMMITTED MY CRIME. SO, YEAH, I WOULD FIGHT.
I WOULD FIGHT IN A HEARTBEAT. ♪♪ [ CLANG IN DISTANCE ] ♪♪ I THINK THAT ANGER
IS MY NUMBER-ONE ISSUE. I THINK A PERSON
MAKIN’ ME ANGRY, PUSHIN’ THAT BUTTON,
IS MY NUMBER-ONE ISSUE. BUT I ALWAYS GOTTA REMEMBER THAT
I’M IN CONTROL OF MY BUTTON. AND SO THAT’S WHAT
I’M TRYIN’ TO DO. ♪♪ -COME ON IN.
-ALRIGHTY, ALRIGHTY. Case worker: I KIND OF WANT
TO TALK TO YOU A LITTLE BIT ABOUT
SOME THINGS. I THINK THERE’S A COUPLE OF
THINGS GOING AGAINST YOU, IF YOU WANT
MY HONEST OPINION. -YEAH, I WANT IT.
-OKAY. -ONE IS YOUR CONDUCT HISTORY.
-MM-HMM. IT SCARES THE HELL
OUT OF PEOPLE. YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT. AND MAYBE THE WAY THAT YOU’RE
COMING ACROSS TO PEOPLE FRUSTRATES YOU,
AND IT MAKES YOU — I DON’T KNOW. I JUST FELT
LIKE YOU WERE ANGRY. YOU KNOW, I REALLY ONLY HAD
ABOUT 3, MAYBE 4 FIGHTS… I KNOW!
…IN 8 YEARS THAT I’VE BEEN IN THIS PENAL SYSTEM,
AND I HATE TO SAY IT, BUT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO GET
A COUPLE PEOPLE OFF YOUR BACK IN ORDER TO BE OKAY
IN AN ENVIRONMENT LIKE THIS. I FEEL LIKE, FOR YOU,
IT WOULD BE GOOD JUST TO AVOID TROUBLE. IT’S SOMETHING THAT YOU’RE
GONNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH WHILE YOU’RE HERE. I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE GOALS
FOR CHANGE. I WANT TO SEE YOU
KEEP PROGRESSING. ME, TOO. ♪♪ Valencia: WHEN I’M ANGRY,
I LIKE TO WRITE POETRY INSTEAD OF RUN AROUND
AND TALK CRAZY TO PEOPLE OR VOICE MY DEEP FEELINGS
BECAUSE SOMETIMES, IN PRISON, YOU CAN’T VOICE
HOW YOU REALLY FEEL. I FEEL LIKE THE SYSTEM
DID ME WRONG. I FEEL LIKE IT WAS NO JUSTICE. I JUST WRITE,
AND IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER BECAUSE MY LIFE WASN’T SUPPOSED
TO TAKE THIS DARK TURN. ♪♪ I FOUND THAT WRITING
POETRY HELPS ME COPE, HELPS ME GET MY FEELINGS OUT. ♪♪ I’VE DECIDED RECENTLY
TO PERFORM IT IN FRONT OF A FEW
OF MY FELLOW INMATES. HOPEFULLY, THEY ENJOY IT. IN SHARING MY POETRY
WITH OTHERS, IT’LL MAKE ME FEEL
BETTER INSIDE, PROBABLY OPEN UP SOME HIDDEN FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS. YEAH, I BELIEVE
IT’S A LITTLE BRAVE. I’M TAKIN’ A STEP FORWARD
AND, HOPEFULLY, I WON’T TRIP. BUT I THINK
IT’LL BE JUST FINE. I THINK IT’LL BE ALL RIGHT. ♪♪ “YOUNG OR OLD,
TIME SEES NO FACE. THERE’S ALWAYS ROOM
FOR ONE MORE IN THIS PLACE.” Valencia: I WROTE IT WHEN I WAS
A LITTLE ANGRY, BUT ANYBODY HAS
A BREAKING POINT, AND I FEEL LIKE — I FEEL LIKE I WAS PUSHED
TO MY BREAKING POINT TO GET HERE. ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ WELL, I’M ABOUT TO GO INTO
THE CHURCH SERVICE RIGHT NOW, AND I’M SUPPOSED TO BE
PERFORMING MY POETRY IN FRONT OF
THE WHOLE CONGREGATION. ♪♪ I’M REALLY SHY RIGHT NOW.
I’M A LITTLE NERVOUS. I JUST HOPE EVERYBODY ENJOY IT. Man:
WELL, THANKS FOR COMIN’. WE’RE GONNA BE TALKIN’
ABOUT DARKNESS AND LIGHT. VALENCIA IS GOING TO COME AND READ
SOME POETRY FOR US. [ APPLAUSE ] THIS POEM IS CALLED
“TEARDROPS.” [ CLEARS THROAT ] “TEARDROPS — EVIDENCE OF A SOUL’S
EXPRESSION. FROM EACH ONE SHED,
YOU CAN BET THERE’S BEEN
SOME KIND OF LESSON. YET THERE ARE LESSONS
TO BE LEARNED DOWN THIS TEARFUL JOURNEY. BELIEVE IN ME, VALENCIA, FOR I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS, EVEN UNTIL THE END OF TIME. I’LL SOOTHE YOUR HEART,
HELP YOU FINISH YOUR START, AND STORE YOUR TEARS
NEXT TO MINE. EVEN JESUS WEPT.” [ APPLAUSE ] THANK YOU. THAT WAS AMAZING TO ME,
VERY SURPRISING. I WAS OVERWHELMED, REALLY. I DIDN’T EXPECT
SO MANY PEOPLE TO TURN UP. [ APPLAUSE ] EVERY DAY GETS BETTER
AND BETTER, YOU KNOW? AND I STAY OPTIMISTIC
ALL THE TIME. I FEEL LIKE,
AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE, I’VE BEEN THROUGH SOME THINGS,
AND I PROBABLY COULD RELATE TO SOME WOMEN
THAT WERE BEHIND BARS. -YEAH.
-YEAH. AND I WANT TO BE A MODEL
FOR THEM, TO SAY, “HEY, JUST BECAUSE YOUR LIFE
TOOK A TURN LIKE THIS, OR JUST BECAUSE THIS HAPPENED, DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU HAVE TO
STILL TURN OUT BAD.” ♪♪ I CAN SEE A LIGHT
AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.

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About the Author: Sam Caldwell

12 Comments

  1. These females put themselves in these positions. They chose thugs and lowlifes and expect happy ever after.

    Dumb bitch she got what she wanted.

  2. "Let me read a poem to you before I smash your head in." No, seriously. As a social worker turned writer, I've worked with men and women before and after they've entered the prison system. It can be a soul-sucking, dangerous place to receive punishment, but I find the most successful ones are the ones who admit their mistakes, take responsibility, and use their release as a second chance to start over and be productive again. It's hard, because an ex convict has a record, a reputation, and stigma to overcome, but it's very possible.

  3. Beautiful just beautiful, you have a gift from god , that’s why the devils been on you , keep writing , the lord will keep blessing you , when we use our gifts he keeps adding ,

  4. I don't understand at the beginning of the video she's come home to find someone in her bed but I couldn't read the writing that came up on the screen because it was too small and she got 30 years well I hope she's been released and she could start a life again

  5. I saw this b4 an this lady does not deserve this … Hugs and prayers .💙
    I was abused by 2 ex husband's I grew up in it so I thought it was normal until I grew in age an realized how wrong it was ppl do not understand if they haven't been there

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