All right, then. You got… …20 minutes. Oh. Uh. Congratulations. I’m happy for you both. I cannot believe that you did all of this. Like you would have let me live it down if we didn’t get prison married. Shall we proceed? Tempus Fugit. Marriage… No. I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself. Uhm. Yeah. We are gathered here today to celebrate… Oh, oh. No, no. Wait, wait. Sorry. You got to guess what I have. It’s tucked inside my tities. It’s old, new, borrowed and blue. Luschek’s testicles. No. Those aren’t new. Ah. Okay, so it is an old toothbrush that is a new shiv that I borrowed from Adeola, that happed to be blue. Why don’t you just give me that to me. I do not want this thing anywhere near the fetus. Now, where were we? We are gathered today standing under this janky wedding awning, because you two crazy kinds want to get married. In the confines of this shithole, somehow, you two managed to… to find each other again, to forgive each other, to love each other. And I am honored just to be a part of it, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, amen. So now, maybe it’s time for the vows? Alex! Okay. Piper… You wrote vows? Hang on. It’s just because, you know, I’m not good at this. And, I didn’t want to, like, ruin the surprise. Okay. It’s hard to know what promise I make to you that won’t sound like a bunch of clichés that people say at weddings. So, I wanted to make a promise that fits us, considering the distance that we covered to get here and how far we’ll have to go before we can be together again. But to do that, I have to talk about something that’s unconfortable to bring up. There was a time when I hurt you. And I did something unforgivable. And I don’t think that I can express, in words, the guilt and regret that I feel for having done that, uhm, to you, the person that I care about most. So, my promise is to make it up to you every day. In small, quiet ways. For the rest of our life together. Hey, hey, hey, hey. I didn’t say you could kiss the bride yet. No, no, no, no, no. Let them kiss, you monster. Okay. So is it my…It’s my turn? The floor is yours. I really wish I’d had some time to prepare. This is so unfair. When I was little girl, I used to think…Nope! No, no, no. Actu…Okay. Here we go. Okay. Life comes in moments… Al, I don’t even know what that means. It’s fine. Just… Okay. It’s me, right? So, what do you want to say to me? I want you to promise me that you’ll get out of here. I need you. You’re my partner. Get out of here as soon as you possibly can so that I can be with you. Do you promise me that you’ll do that? I will. Though that’s not really a vow. It’s more of a demand. Okay. Then my vow is to wait for you. Wait, wait, wait. Don’t kiss again yet. Lorna? The rings. Oh, shit, yo! Yo, is this a wedding? Mazel tov. Our little Chapman is getting sprung from this this joint today, so we tought we’d do something special. How about that? Damn! You gonna be out walking around and shit. How do you feel? I don’t know how I feel. I feel weird. I keep thinking about everything I’m gonna be missing out on. How stupid is that? Pritty fuckin’ stupid! Congratulations! All right! Oh, my bad, my bad. Go ahead. I’m sorry. Uhm, shall we exchange the rings? Yeah. Alex, place this ring at the tip of Piper’s finger. Do you, Piper, accept this key ring from Luschek’s key chain he was using to hold a Duane Reade savings card as a token of Alex’s eternal appreciation and love? I do. Then, Alex, please slide that fucker on there. A-ha. Thank you. Piper, will you place this ring at the tip of Alex’s finger? Ah! Do you, Alex, accept this contraband paperclip we found in the law library in a book about the landmark case Bottoms v. Bottoms, which sounds fascinating as a token of Piper’s eternal appreciation and love? I do. Well, then slide that fucker on there. And now, by the power vested in me by some website I forget the name of, and the Federal Department of Corrections, I now pronounce you prison married. And you may kiss the bride. And you may kiss the bride. I just love it. Oh, Honey.