This is gonna be the best heckin’ road trip, ever! Almost done packing the essentials! Huh, do I really need this? Or do I need… two! Guys, I feel like we’re forgetting something… They left us again, didn’t they? Let’s play some road tunes! We’re getting reports of a mysterious woman kidnapping hitchhikers for what is being described as “nefarious reasons.” Honestly, who would be dumb enough to get in a car with a strange weirdo? Hello, victims. I mean… You boys look like you could use a ride. I don’t think that’s a good idea, scary lady. Okay. But I’ve got… …candy. Sure, why start being sensible now? Haha! Did I scare you? That’s because my bare hands are lethal weapons! Unfortunately, not everyone is blessed with such deadly appendages. And sometimes, even someone as virile as me needs to use an actual weapon. That’s why today, I’m going to teach you to make your own custom weapon! En garde, villain! Oh! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! You’ll need to gather metals from the most treacherous mountaintops, as well as wood from dark, forbidden forests! And of course, several pints of your own blood. Some of you won’t survive the process, but if you do live, you’ll have a one-of-a-kind manly weapon that- Well, sure, but it’s not as manly as the real deal, is it? Ho ho! No one can oppose me and my manly moustache! Hey, now! Don’t ridicule the- I am the manliest! Okay, okay, I get it. Bow down to my facial hair! I’m going back in the bushes… Respect the moustache! Fasten your seatbelts, boys, it’s gonna be a nefarious ride! It’s a trap! She used the child safety locks! But we are neither children nor safe! Leave it to me, I think I can get us out of this. We’ll swim through lakes and climb up trees,
catch fish, bugs, bears, and honeybees!
There’s endless possibilities, And no, that’s not hyperbole! Our motto’s “Campe Diem”, and that means I’m telling you-u-u.. Ren, this is my favorite part. We’ve got- Enough! No nefarious plan is worth this torture! Get out! Who knew being annoying could actually come in handy? I grew up with seven sisters! Was my only defense… Next time we see the girls, they are in so much trouble. How do you “accidentally” rob a bank?! I don’t know! It all happened so fast! Look! There’s a roadblock ahead! Looks like we’re gonna have to jump!